I think being a Mom is by far the most beautiful calling in the entire world. There is absolutely nothing like being a mom. I just don't quite have it down so well yet though. I look at the way my mom handles Nicci and i shake my head in amazement at how natural and wonderful she is with her. It's SO NOT as easy at she makes it looks. When Nicci was 3 months old we taught her sign language (the basics...please, thank you, more, milk...and so on) and so lately when she wants more of something she signs more BUT accompanies it with a very annoying head splitting WHINE! It drives me absolutely INSANE. It got to the point a couple weeks ago that i had to just walk away before i just lost it. I know you're probably thinking, "Wow Brandi, kids whine, get over it." BUT you DON'T understand...this whine could send you into the next lifetime! Well, we were at my parents house a while back and Nicci did her usual marathon of whining and i witnessed the most incredible thing. My mom simply turned to Nicci and said in a soft sweet tone, "Nicci, we don't whine, we smile. If you want another cracker just smile and i'll give it to you." As i watched Nicci's face...she just thought about it and then walked off. My mom just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Brandi just be patient, she'll understand if you remind her to smile and not whine, you'll see, she'll stop whining, just give it time." I laughed at her and told her she was absolutely nuts and had no idea what she was talking about. Not long after that i heard Nicci in the kitchen with Seth and she was signing 'more' and whining!! So i turned to my mom and said, "SEE!! She'll NEVER stop!!!" And out of frustration i said, "Nicci! STOP whining!" Nicci looked at me, ran past me to my mom...grabbed my mom's hand...and, you'll never guess what she did next. She SMILED and said MORE...not only MORE, BUT she said PLEASE TOO!! I about swallowed my tongue. Seth and my mom just laughed while i sat there dumbfounded. At that point i was ready to give my sweet daughter to my mom to raise! I was so confused as to why she was so defiant against me, but all my mom had to do was ask her to smile instead of whine and by darn she did it! So later on that evening i asked my mom to teach me her tricks. My mom answered me with the most amazing and loving council. She told me this, "Brandi, if you get down on her level and ask her in a soft loving tone to please stop whining and to smile if she wants a cracker...or whatever it may be, she will eventually do it without being defiant. She is a little child, and little children are not always obedient, but treating them with patience, a soft tone, and love will highly decrease their defiance." I thought about it for a while and tried it with Nicci later on that night, and sure enough, it didn't work. :( She'd even obey Seth...but not me. I hit the hugest reality check at that moment. I needed to stop being so sharp with her and ask her in a loving way to obey mommy. My mom and Seth both told me it would take time, and to be both patient with her and myself. So through LOTS of prayer and an entire month of working on my mom's council, low and behold...my daughter finally understands me!! The other day we went through our normal routine of her wanting more and whining and it was surprisingly an INSTINCT for me to say softly, "Nicci honey, that's not how you ask mommy." Then a couple seconds later i felt a tug on the back of my shirt, and standing there was my sweet daughter, with a HUGE SMILE on her face, signing 'more', AND even saying, "Peeese?!" I melted into a puddle of tears and i hugged her for as long as she'd let me! I gave her cracker after cracker as she just continued smiling at me! For at least a week now she has NOT whined at all...instead she says, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." until she gets my attention and then she smiles the biggest smile she can, while signing for more crackers, water, chips...or whatever it may be! It was one of the most beautiful experiences i've had while being a mother. I took something i needed to change about myself and i saw the amazing effect it had on my little Nicci. Mother's have such an influence on their children and for the first time i actually saw the positive effect that i had on my daughter. It was such a special experience. Mothers truly know best, and i feel so very blessed to have such a wonderful mom that can help me so much in such a loving way with all of my faults and help me become a better mom. Gosh, i love my mom so much. I hope i'm half as amazing as she is when all my children are grown! 
Thank you Mom for teaching me through so much love how to be a great mom!
I love you.
14 comments:
Moms ARE the best. We're so lucky to have wonderful moms. I can't believe how much you look like your mom in that old picture of her!
Im so glad you posted this! I have been SO impatient with the twins and their whining. I will have to try this tomorrow!
Ok, like the post above mine, I too needed to hear this!!! Kaden is so amazing, but he is so hyper (I have no clue where he gets it)! But today I was getting ready to kill him! You know when you can feel the stress physically rising up inside? I breathed and said very calmly he need to leave me alone...hey it's better than spanking! I know it's hard, but I too hope I can master patience like my mom!!!
that is adorable :) I'm sure this will come in handier when we have kids! how awesome to have wise parents... I'm so grateful for mine!
You have the most inspiring blog. I love to read it, but I usually need tissue when I am done. Thanks for helping me try to be better.
I loved this post! Good for you! You seem to be doing a GREAT job with Nicci!!
Nice entry... I agree full-heartedly... but I really wanted to mention your knew layout... why there is any votes besides "No, not at all. I love it" I will never know!! I thought it was harder to read on the other one. My eyes would get tired. This one is softer on the eyes and looks great! Don't change it!! The 3 votes that voted otherwise most likely messed up there vote... cuz that's just crazy!!
What great advice-I think I'll use it too! Skyler is just getting into this little whining phase... and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't frustrate me at times!
lol. Jeff you're so awesome. You make me laugh. And i agree full-heartedly as well, we have by far the greatest mom in the entire world! :)
Okay so I have to say that I have wanted to comment for about two weeks but every time I sit down to write something out, something happens and I don't get time. There is a picture of Nicci a little back that reminds me of your mom. You know when you were younger and I was your leader and you were having a rough time, your mom and I had a few great talks. I thought then and still agree with this now that your mom is an amazing woman. I always felt so loved and cared for even just in her presence and I knew that there would come a day that you would stop looking at her with teenager eyes and see her for who she really is. Okay now that that is said and I am all teary eyed...I know totally what you are dealing with with the whole whining thing. I would take bets that Emma whines more than Nicci. I'm sure that every mom says that once in a while and your mom is so right. In past experiences the only way to win out is with a loving tone. Just remember to read your own blog in about six months and then in about 1 year and then following every six months after that. No really I am just kidding but you do have to remember to stay patient and think that this child adores you (maybe not at that moment) and doesn't understand even why she is hungry or tired or scared. We have learned that Emma's most whiny time is right before bed or when she hasn't had enough sleep. Knowing when and why is half the battle as well. Then you can prevent against the pitfalls and you can know that those are the times when you need to be at your best. Sometimes Emma throws this out at me, "Your mean Mommy!" and I simply reply, "Yup and don't ever forget it." The first time that one came out of her mouth I took it as a personal insult that I wasn't a good parent. I have had to remember that she is five and I am thirty! The Lord didn't just give you that child as a test and ask you to raise her, he gave her to you because you were the "best parents" for her. I love ya girl and as your mom says just keep smiling!
Brandi, I have LOVED reading your blog. You are so cute and Nicole is adorable!!!! I love seeing pictures of your precious family!! We love you guys! Reading your blog inspires me to do better on ours! You are always so uplifting and insightful. Thank you for being you! You are incredible. Oh, Adelyn and Sophie also have BYU Cheerleader outfits and Brayden has a football outfit, we should get them toether for a cousins picture. It would be adorable!! Love Ya!!!
I had one of those days today. The days where you put the kids in bed and cry because you today you turned into the mom you didn't want to be.
I really needed to read this today. I'm still trying to figure it out.
Tomorrow I'm trying the smile trick.
Thanks for stopping by the blog occasionally. It's fun to see that you've visited.
You are OFFICIALLY breaking blogging rules. Update!!
What a great mom you have! You can just tell how much you love and respect her by the way that you write about her. That's the kind of mom I want to be. I try to be patient, but it only lasts for a little while before I snap. I read your blog on the right day, and when Cohen started to whine, I told him to smile instead, and it worked like a charm! Ever since that day, it's been working! Thanks!
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