Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Overwhelmed With Sorrow & Joy

I have been sitting here for a while trying to control my emotions and it just seems near impossible for me to stop crying for 5 minutes to write what i'm feeling. Please bear with me. Tonight i found out that our dear neighbor, Tom, passed away. My heart aches, my eyes sting, and yet i have such a flood of happiness overwhelming my heart. I'm not going to use any fancy words or phrases, but i'm going to speak straight from my heart about some things that are very dear to me.

When we moved into our condo we met Tom the very first day. He lived below us and he was sweeping the walks when we showed up. That day, a very special relationship blossomed. He was very elderly, and he lived all alone. His wife died 5 years ago. I miss him so much. Seth and i would take him to the store, and we even had dinner on occasion. He really took a liking to Nicci. When she had her surgery...he prayed for her. I'll explain later why that is so special to us now. We took him to the Outback one night, and he sat and told us all about how he met his dear wife, and how much he missed her. It was special. As time went by we invited him to church. He never came. BUT - Christmas of 2006 Seth was working during our ward Christmas Dinner, so Tom came with me as my date. Note the *picture at the top...Oh how i miss him. He was so much fun, he talked to everyone and i saw a brightness in him i had never seen before. It was soon after that we gave him a Book of Mormon. We wrote our testimony in it and also bore our testimony of our Savior to him in person as well. He asked us some questions later on about it, but due to his elderly age and poor health he was limited in his physical understanding of some things. We had grown extremely close to Tom. He heard Seth & i joking once about how i don't cook, and for like a month straight he made us some dinners...they were the sweetest, most humble, and delicious meals.


My heart aches as i write this... i remember his name showing up on my caller ID when he'd call; i remember seeing him on our walks. I remember talking to him about the gospel, running errands with him, and laughing and crying as he would tell us all about his sweet wife.


We became very close to Tom. Not too long ago, he found a bouncy ball for Nicci. He was so excited to give it to her. He was such a sweet man.

Last week an ambulance came and took Tom to the hospital because he was having trouble breathing.

I watched from my porch as they wheeled him away...i was thinking i would make him cookies for his return. It was the last time i ever saw my dear friend Tom.


I got a phone call this afternoon from Tom's daughter. She found my number on a card we gave Tom not too long ago. She wanted to know who i was. She told me her father passed away. I couldn't control my emotions as my heart was aching and the lump in my throat just kept getting bigger and bigger. I was deeply torn between being happy for Tom, or so very sad for myself. We had a very interesting conversation, one that i will cherish forever.

It was obvious in our conversation that Tom had had some hardships with his family. Lets put it this way...his daughter didn't sound all broken up. She asked me if i was Mormon. I said, YES, why? She hesitated for a moment...then she said that 'Tom had never in his life been a religious man and has never read the bible or anything. But she ran across this "Mormon Bible" on his bedstand and it looked as if Tom had read it...the entire thing. He had written notes on pieces of paper he stuck in the book...all the way through it.' I completely lost my composure. Tom had prayed for our little girl while she was in surgery...he had a relationship with God, and he believed. My heart exploded with emotion as i hit the realization that he actually read the most special book ever written, the Book of Mormon. She proceeded to thank me. She thanked me for caring, for being there for Tom, and for simply seeing a man she had never seen. No one in the family had talked to him,... in a very long time. I told her all about the Christmas dinner he was my date to...and about his love for Nicci. She hesitated once again...and then she brought up the Book of Mormon again. She said her 14 yr old daughter wanted the book, for some reason it was special to her. Wow.

I want to bear my testimony of this amazing gospel. Jesus Christ, our Savior, Lord, and King died for us, ... for YOU. He died so that the mistakes we make here on earth can be erased, forever. He forgets them. He guides us. He is so aware of our each individual needs! He loves us. When i say He loves us, i mean, with a love that is completely UN-comprehendable to each of us. I think about a "mother's love" and how His love is even stronger than that. I have such a love and testimony of the temple. It binds us together, forever. FOREVER. Despite the mistakes and even sins that we have committed here on this earth we still have an opportunity to repent and live with our families forever. It's such a profound and beautiful concept. Right now, Tom is with his wife. Right now, Tom is being taught the true gospel of Christ. He is being faced with the decision to accept it or to reject it. I know he'll accept it. I know in my heart that if it weren't for his physical limitations he would have been baptised. Even though he didn't discuss the Book of Mormon too much with us, he experienced something even more important. He felt the spirit bear witness to him of the truth as he read the words of our Lord and Savior. I know he did. He wouldn't have read the entire book otherwise.

I love my Savior. I love the real love that He has for each one of us. I saw the hand of God work in the life of this elderly man. It was beautiful. It was overwhelming. It was sacred. It's hard for me to use something as simple as words to express the experience i had with the the Savior and my wonderful friend Tom. I miss him so much it hurts. I loved him dearly. However, i am filled with an even greater peace and love that he is now in a better place. He is being taught the gospel, he's with his wife, and he's out of pain. I love my Savior. I love this gospel. I can't wait for the day i can give my friend Tom a hug and tell him how very special he was to me and my family.

Reach out to your neighbors. Every single one of them. If we don't, we are missing out on experiencing and loving the divine spirits who we call brother and sister.

I'm really going to miss Tom, he was a very special friend.

18 comments:

Jamie Simms said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. That is an amazing story about him. It's such a blessing that we know where he is and that he has an opportunity to be baptized still. My family's also going through a scary time. My grandfather just got diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He's in the hospital starting radiation and chemo. The thing that really scares me is that he isn't a member, never been one for organized religion even though my grandma has been a member all of her life and has been through the temple. Well my prayers are with you. Call if you need anything. Love you!

Shelise said...

Wow what a neat experience. And just because you reached out to a neighbor. It sounds like he was a neat guy. Thanks for sharing this. I cried while I read it. Wouldnt it be neat years down the road to find out if anyone WAS baptized because of your love for a neighbor? That would be pretty cool.

AnnEE said...

What a good example you are! When we lived in an apartment complex, we went out of our way to avoid our neighbors. How wonderful the world would be if we were all a little bit kinder, right?

Thanks for sharing this story. I don't even know Tom, but I am so sorry for the loss of a good friend for you!

Lindsay said...

Geez, Brandi... I don't even think I could count the number of posts you've written that have made me cry, including this one! But really, I've sorry for your loss, and it's wonderful that you were so good to that man when his family wasn't always there for him. I never thought my grandma was a very kind woman, and so our visits to her were very limited. When she passed away and we went to her funeral, it was nice to know that the people in her ward saw another side of her. You were both so blessed to have one another! Hopefully his granddaughter will read the BOM, and maybe one day be baptized... all because you had the faith to bear your testimony and give him such a wonderful gift.

Sammy said...

I'm sorry about Tom. Isn't death bittersweet? You've prepared him to accept the Gospel fully in the Spirit World and that's amazing. I wonder how it works for you and Seth to see about doing temple work for he and his wife? Do you have to have permission from their family I wonder?

Brandi Lyn said...

That was one of the first things we talked about. :) We're going to introduce the family to the gospel and wait a bit for everything to calm down for them, and then we're going to ask them if we can do Tom & his wife's temple work. Please pray that they feel of the spirit and give us permission; that would be such a special day for Tom & his sweet wife.

It's probably the greatest gift that we could give anybody here on earth.

Sherrelle said...

You are so sweet to think of doing his temple work... What a great example you are to us all.

Erica said...

I'm so sorry about Tom. What a sweet man. You are such an example! I love your stories!

Ashley Clark said...

What a great message. We do need to reach out to our neighbors more. If I'm ever old an gray (and heaven forbid, widowed), I hope I have a neighbor like you!

Kellie Knapp said...

I'm SO SO SO sorry for you loss. Losing friends is SO hard...especially old sweet men! I'm serious. I love older men! I'm SO SO SO SO SO greatful for people like you in our church. You are what makes this world go round!! LOVE YOU!

familyof4 said...

I was just going to ask the same question about doing their temple work! What a wonderful post. Maybe you should invite the family to see the Savior of the World..it's being performed on April 9-12 at the Green Valley Pavillion. It's free. If you want tickets let me know. I bet you would LOVE this show. I LOVED reading your testimony thank you for sharing it.

Cyndi said...

I can't say any more than your dear friends have already said. I love you girl1 Thank you for reminding me of your sweet love and more importantly my Saviors sweet love.

stout family said...

What a special relationship you were so blessed to develop with such a wonderful man!

Jenibelle said...

Blurking...thank you for your beautiful testimony and story of Tom. I think anyone who read it was touched and inspired to reach out a little.

Unknown said...

What an awesome experience. My heart aches for you because I know you are missing him a lot. Tears came to our eyes as we read your post. I am so grateful you are my sister and I admire you, and frankly always have, for the good example you are of loving and reaching out to others. This is a good example of the effect that simple acts of kindness and sharing can have. Eternal effects. I love you sistah! You are the best!! I really hope to see you soon.

amber belmonte said...

wow! you are such an amazing example! i am so sorry for your loss and wish you comfort and peace.

Sammy said...

Now YOU need to update! I hope Nicci is sleeping better and that you're feeling a little more settled in... I've been thinking about you guys!

The Foote Family said...

I must tell you that I really love to read your blog. You guys are such great examples. This post about Tom gave me the chills. What a beautiful story and what a sweet old man. I really hope that his family will get baptized and be able to do his temple work or if not I pray that they will give you permission so that you can do it. Thank you for sharing that story. It makes me want to be a better person and do more to get to know my neighbors.